On our first night in Bordeaux we were just finishing off a leisurely dinner with Damien and Elodie, thinking about a relaxing night ahead, good conversation, a glass of wine perhaps, when suddenly Elodie started packing up the dishes all around us and Damien exclaimed “Hurry up! We must go. We’re late!” Late? Ange and I thought…late for what? But they wouldn’t say. “Quickly, grab your things and come.” “Does it matter what we’re wearing, and that we smell?” asked Ange, cause it was 36 degrees and neither of us had showered or changed since our flight. “Not at all” replied Damien, and in fact it’s better if you do smell!” Intriguing. So we headed off, and drove out of the town, through the forest, and past the acres upon acres of cornfields, where a magnificent blazing red sun was making its way slowly down towards the horizon. The only thing we could think of was that they were taking us to the beach to watch the sun set…but that moment came and went so clearly that wasn’t it. We drove on and on. “Do you have any idea?” Elodie asked. Us: not a clue! “We are going to play with animals” she stated…but that was all. And in fact, even if she had explained further I don’t think Ange and I would have had any comprehension of what we were about to witness and take part in! One of the most hilarious things we have ever seen.
So we arrived in the small village of Ares and made our way towards a rectangular arena set up in the town centre, which was surrounded by stands full of people. As we got our tickets, the first thing we saw was a host of grown men, many of them topless, suddenly sprinting towards the centre of the arena where, amidst roars and cheers from the crowd, they dived into this giant, brightly coloured circular paddling pool in the hope of claiming a coloured ball. What the…? So we found seats and then proceeded to watch those men who’d got a ball play a game of soccer, with a giant inflatable ball, in the arena (with of course the paddling pool as its centre piece)…..with a bull!!!!! Yep. A team at either end, with 2 barrels set up as goal posts, the paddling pool, the thigh high bouncey ball…..and a bull. Hilarious! The men were running furiously, kicking their ball along, through the paddling pool, trying to score their goals and all the while trying to avoid the massive charging bull that kept coming at them! Whenever it would charge the guys had to sprint to the edges of the arena and clamber up the wire fencing! The second game involved another paddling pool dive with the next host of wannabe participants, and this time the teams had to lure the bull through the barrels at either end in order to score a point. And then there was the sack race through the pool with the guys dodging the bull.
The guys get ready for the sack race...


Through the paddling pool...


This guy didn't come off quite so well!

And then 6 girls got inside 6 barrels, and the guys had to run back and forth from the pool delivering them bucket loads of water, in buckets full of holes, which the girls then had to transfer into smaller containers, while of course the bull was doing its rounds through the arena. It reminded us a little of “It’s a knockout”! And so it went on…game after hilarious game. One of the funniest was the donkey ride, where the successful ball catchers had to run up, jump bareback onto a donkey, and make it run 3 times round the paddling pool. One guy was on backwards and just belting its rump, another was wrapped around its neck and hanging on for dear life! The girls also got to do this game, but Ange and I weren’t quite ready for it I don’t think! Another game involved 6 guys trying to lure the bull through giant hoops held by 6 girls in their barrels, and another had 2 pairs of guys each hanging onto a rope attached to a giant swinging T-bar, and whenever the bull charged at one of the men, the other one had to pull down hard on his rope thus hoisting the other one high up into the air and over the head of the bull!!

And there was a game for the kids too, with a baby bull (that was still something I wouldn’t want to cross paths with, horns and all) but never the less hoards of kids, encouraged by their parents, clambered into the arena and had to try and remove a bonnet from the bulls head. Quite a number of them got charged at and knocked over by the bull, but they all just picked themselves up and kept going!
It was so refreshing to see such a fun, family night out, with good, clean, un-alcohol related entertainment, that the whole town got involved in. And also to see an event with a bit of daring and courage and danger, that wasn’t wrapped up in the red tape of safety and insurance and “I’m gonna sue you for this” conscious America or Australia.
So then it came to the last event of the night. And this was a free for all. Elodie grabbed my hand and said “let’s go!” So we climbed the fence and joined maybe 30 others in standing in a boy-girl-boy-girl circle on the edge of the paddling pool, hundreds of people watching us. The commentator was giving the instructions, in French of course, which Elodie had to translate. And then we were ready. The gate opened and out came a bull with the most massive span of horns I think I have ever seen! Luckily they were taped up so couldn’t do too much damage, but I was still pretty nervous as it sauntered slowly towards us. It circled the pool, watching us, us watching him, and then suddenly it gave one of the guys a big head butt and sent him sprawling into the paddling pool! That was it for him, he was out. The bull then continued its circle, and picked out its next victim…and in she went! Hilarious! It has obviously played this game before, it knew exactly what to do, picking out people one by one and head butting them into the pool. Then there were maybe 10 of us left. And the commentator made us start walking around in a circle. I was at the head of the line, the bull was targeting the people at the back. “Good…that’s good” I thought, don’t come near me! But then it stopped. And waited for me. But I didn’t want to walk right on over to it at all, it was huge and big and black and those horns weremassive! And I was standing on the edge of a paddling pool in the middle of an arena surrounded by loads of French people who all knew a lot more about what was going on than I did! So I turned around and made the line walk the other way!!! But apparently that was a no go, and the commentator was calling out to me to turn back and move forward…but the bull was right there!

I'm not going anywhere near you, mate!

I stopped…and waited…hoping it would move, and the commentator is going on and on at me in French “mademoiselle, advance, tu advance” but of course I didn’t really get it, not particularly focussing on translation while faced with the bull and horns dilemma in front of me. But then the guy behind me gave me a push and I had to move…and the bull was eyeing me up and I was eyeing him up, I drew closer, he wasn’t moving, I couldn’t turn around…then suddenly he came for me, lowered his head, wrapped his horns round my butt and tossed me into the pool! So funny…wet and laughing I then climbed back over the fence to join the others.

I make a hasty retreat!

What a crazy funny French night out, we loved it.